Let me laugh at White Water Mondays and all the other days to come

I love waking up early, I really do. The shower is always hot, the house is always quiet, I can be perfectly content in my own little world at 5:15 am.
Often my early morning routine has me heading out of the house for the gym then heading home to work out some more. I do my best to cram in my Bible reading and prayer time in the minutes between Brent leaving for work and the kids waking up in a wave of "mommy I am hungry"s and "mom there is no more toilet paper" oh and my favorite "mom I have nothing to wear!".
On days the wave hits before I find time to just be with the Lord I make a mental note to find that moment later in the day, often I forget completely. I have been working hard to let that happen less.

I want that moment!

I crave that moment!

Ok in all honesty I need that moment!

I have noticed over the years the days with that moment have a much easier current almost like that "moment" is my blow up raft that gets me through the day.
Days without it are rocky, jagged and stressful.
Not to say days with are not stressful I just seem to handle it differently. I see the stress in a different way, I get hit head on by conviction when I handle those stressers in ways that benefit no one. Conviction is not nice nor is it pleasant, but I would rather be convicted then toss my kids out of the life raft on my way down the river, know what I mean?

Yesterday we had a major case of the Mondays at the Reimers house. My trip to the gym was thwarted by the van misfiring as I pulled out onto the highway and it continued to misfire until I got off the highway scaring me to death in the process. I made it home thinking ok how on earth are we gonna pay for this now? Everyone knows we are on the "Dave Ramsey Plan" as my husband calls it. We live with in our means, we save our money and we have no debt outside of our mortgage. We still get paid the same as everyone else, we still have to pay the light bills and buy food and we do not have piles upon piles of cash. The money we do have has a name and a place and lately that name and place has been truck and mechanic. We have had car trouble pretty much since March which has slowly drained our car maintenance fund, a few other small funds we were using for other things and lately took a chunk out of the emergency fund.

I hate spending money, I am pretty sure the thought of spending money causes my heart to misfire just like the van was misfiring on the highway. It is scary! I don't want to do it. To me our emergency fund is another form of life raft, it keeps us safe. I rely on that life raft. If I took a moment to really think about it I could probably confess that I think about that raft more then I think about my God raft. Uh oh big time no no and that is what God has been whispering in the deep still waters of my soul which happens to be located in my inner ear by my brain and I some times call it my conscience.

So back to me making it home from my misfiring adventure drive home. I decided a walk would be a good idea since sitting at home was not gonna do me any good. I walked and I prayed. Not your normal prayers no my prayers yesterday morning as the sun came up sounded just like this.
Ok God how are you gonna take care of this one because I can't handle it no I just don't want to handle it and yes I am throwing a tantrum and you can't do anything about it and gosh darnit Lord why is this happening now, how are we gonna pay for this, I have goals Lord, big financial goals and this is just ruining it! Lord how am I supposed to pay for this now?
I swear I could hear God laughing, not mocking or mean, just laughing the way I laugh when one of my own throws the tantrum of the century over something small like a lost pencil. Then He reminded me He knows the plans I have for me. The image of my bank account popped up in my head, the one with all my goal savings accounts in it. It is looking pretty pitiful when I measure it up to where it was and where I wanted it to be by now. God showed me it was not empty. There is still enough to take care of today. We will be ok! I did not know that we would have so much trouble first with the truck and now with the van I just had my goals and my plans. God knew we would have all this trouble first with the truck and now with the van and He made sure my plans were enough to take care of those troubles when they came. My plans did not include putting away thousands of dollars in auto repair but God's plans made sure we had just enough to take care of it. 

When my money raft popped and I watched my dreams and goals float away getting bashed on the rocks in the river God's raft kept me afloat. When I shared my fear of what about school that money was not just for that goal it was my back up in case everything I was doing fell apart and I needed to pay for school. God assured me He will take care of that too. I would like to know more of that plan Lord but I guess I will have to wait.

I came home from my walk and joined Brent in the living room to work out a little more(we are attempting P90X). I felt better and shared some of that walk with him. The rest of the Monday stayed par for the course it was definitely a White Water Monday as I had children throwing up in bed, on the couch, on the floor, on themselves! I had children bursting into tears for no apparent reason while others howled in their room because I stood firm on my one video game rule. The VA lost my paperwork, the school won't return my calls, the mechanic can not figure out what caused the van to misfire so we are looking at no van for a couple days and the list goes on. It was quite a day. The icing was a broken TV and what I thought was a dead possum in the back yard that turned out to be a live hissing possum when Brent came home to deal with it. I think I have had all the Monday I can handle!

When I read Proverbs 31 this morning the verse "She laughs at the days to come" really stuck out. I know there will be more White Water Mondays  in the future. I know that yesterday did not happen by chance. I know that it was part of a long list of spiritual attacks that we have been under. I guess that means we are doing something right somehow. My sin has been found out and I serve a merciful God who comforts me when I fall down instead of hanging me out to dry. Hmm dry that is exactly how I have felt without Him being first in my life. My prayer for today was simple  
" I want to laugh at the days to come. Knowing there will be rough ones. I want to laugh at the days to come. God be my raft in the rough waters and in the smooth where the dangers lay hidden just under the surface. Let me be a blessing to my husband and full of wise instruction for my children. Let me laugh at the days to come. Amen"  

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

GIVEAWAY TODAY!!

iTovi